But I am bored and in retrospect they make me laugh….
1. Sunrises are for Chinese people…
Up until about a year ago I had never bothered to see a sunrise, and coincidentally, never noticed one. The reason I didn’t bother isn’t because I didn’t want to, it was because I thought you couldn’t see a sunrise in the United States. This is because when I was a kid I saw the movie Shanghai Noon with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. Well Jackie was obviously from China, and Owen Wilson was a western cowboy. At one point in the movie they are arguing and Owen Wilson says “The sun may rise in the east but it sets in the west!” I took this to mean that if you wanted to see a sunrise, you had to live in China. Then I figured that was why their flag looks like a sun, I realize it doesn’t. For some reason for years I thought the flag of China was the pre WWII Japanese flag. I have NO idea how I was under so many misconceptions at the same time, but until my twenties, it all made perfect sense.
2. The I am going to die any day incident.
Going into the shower once I looked down, and from my ribcage to my hips it was blotchy blue and looked bruised. Quickly I checked off in my head that no, I hadn’t been hit by any cars recently, nor had I awkwardly lunged into anything… again… I came to the conclusion that I must have leukemia, and I sat down to panic. It was a good ten minutes worth of panicking, thinking about the tests that would be done at the hospital, cursing the injustice of how young I am, and it meaning at 12 or 13 I was middle aged… etc. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw my brand new navy blue tanktop on the floor, and realized I was blotchy blue in the shape of that very same tank top. I then showered cursing the third world sweatshop that dyed the fabric (probably that damn sunrise country), and went to watch Frasier.